Need health care coverage? Just dial 1-800-FUCKYO to reach Obamacare’s national hotline

Need health insurance? The Obama administration has you covered. Simply dial 1-800-FUCKYO to begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1-800-FUCKYO to FREE  end_of_the_skype_highlighting reach the next available health care provider.

Far from being a mistype, that’s the official number that Health and Human Services wants Americans to dial when seeking health care. Obamacare’s national call center really did list its number as 1-800-318-2596 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 1-800-318-2596 FREE  end_of_the_skype_highlighting , helpfully spelling out President Barack Obama’s tendency to blatantly flip the bird in plain view. After allowing for the lack of letters attached to 1 on a traditional American telephone keypad, the number spells out a clear message. For every duped voter, every young invincible weighing the cost of a penalty versus a newly tripled yearly deductible, every ailing old granny in a wheelchair (whom, remember, Paul Ryan wants to push off a cliff) who needs adequate and affordable health care, Obama’s message is:

1-800-3(F) 8(U) 2(C) 5(K) 9(Y) 6(O).

That’s 1-800-FUCKYO. In a typically lazy sidestep, the Obama administration failed to swap the useless 1 for a more functional 8 to complete the heartfelt message, perhaps in consolation to former White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel’s tragically shortened middle finger.

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius launched a media campaign this week to propagandize the transformative health care overhaul. She compared the sweeping, coercive law paving the way for a total governmental takeover of the health care industry to an iPhone system update.

“Everyone just assumes, “Well, there’s a problem, they’ll fix it, we’ll move on,’” Sebelius said about Apple’s iOS updates. “And like many of their customers, I put the ‘new’ system on my phone and went on my merry way, but it was just a reminder that we’re likely to have some glitches. We will fix them and move on. Is this a sign that the law is flawed and failed? I don’t think so. I think it’s a sign that we’re building a piece of complicated technology. We want it to work. We want it to work right. We’ve got an incredible team working 24/7 to do just that.”

“Hopefully they’ll give us the same slack they give Apple,” Sebelius said, according to the Wall Street Journal.

Sadly, Americans can’t just switch governments as easily as they can switch phones. This newest “glitch” at least appears to be a glimpse into the Obama administration’s contemptuous attitude toward normal, working Americans.

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